black history month 2020: heavy with blackness

I have learned, much to my surprise, that ignorance is bliss. However, I’ve also learned that bliss is as fleeting as beauty, easily tarnished and too weak to bear a heavy load. 

There was a time in my life when I truly believed that black lives were envied for their beauty, talent and flavor. I didn’t think that my opinion was at all biased. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even see it as an opinion, but as a fact. I felt truly sorry for people who weren’t black. My goodness, we do everything with something I didn’t even know how to name. I mean, just look at Beyoncé. Who wouldn’t want to be black like that? I actually said this to a white co-worker of mine. This was back when Beyoncé was the lead singer of Destiny’s Child and their hit Independent Woman was my jam that summer. My co-worker, tall and thin with pretty auburn hair, shrugged, “Yeah, I know. That’s what I was trying to tell my mother. She actually said Beyoncé was obese. Can you believe that? She actually used the word ‘obese’ in the same sentence as Beyoncé.” 

That day, I learned not everyone desired to be black. Some people didn’t even want to possess anything that resembled blackness. Some didn’t even want to touch it. Some didn’t want to look at it even if it came wrapped in a package as beautiful and as glamorous at Beyoncé.

Jesus tells the disciples, “Much is required from the person to whom much is given; much more is required from the person to whom much more is given.” I have wondered what this all meant for years. Something about it seems hollow to me. Not Jesus, but perhaps our interpretation. What if you’ve been given significantly less? If you’ve been given significantly more hardship, what more is required of you then? 

In a way, it seems that Jesus is expanding on a truth that his followers have already heard from the writings of King Solomon: “Remember: In much wisdom is much aggravation; the more knowledge, the more pain.” To put it simply, having more of anything is a burden. Perhaps this is why Jesus says the first will be last and the last will be first into the kingdom. Maybe all that heaviness weighing down the haves gives the have-nots a head-start into glory. This has been a new thing for me to pray about: “O God, have mercy. I have so much blackness. I’m so thick with blackness. My thighs are bursting at the seems with blackness. I’m overflowing with the juicy flavor of blackness. I’m obese with blackness. I been given so much blackness, dear God, somedays its weight requires more than I can bear.” 

A LIST OF THINGS HEAVY WITH BLACKNESS 
This is a list of things heavy with blackness that are currently streaming on Netflix, Hulu, PBS, or Amazon Prime. It’s easier not to carry these things. Compared to them, ignorance is bliss. You can’t unlearn what you learn from seeing them. You can’t shake off their wisdom.

One caveat: Not everything on this list is going to fit everyone’s taste or world view. Please take the time to research the ratings. I would love for you to put aside ideas of what is proper and what is improper. But I don’t want anyone to watch anything that they feel isn’t right for them due to some of the content. However, the harder stories, generally, are told without censor.

Hulu:
If Beale Street Could Talk
Detroit
Amazing Grace
Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am
Roots
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
The Rape of Recy Taylor
Miss Evers’ Boys
Queen Sugar
Atlanta
Sorry To Bother You 

Netflix:  
When They See Us
Seven Seconds
20 Feet from Stardom
What Happened, Miss Simone? 
Mudbound
Moonlight 
13th
Hustle and Flow
A Fall from Grace
American Son
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 
The Black Godfather
Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé

PBS:
Sammy Davis Jr, I’ve Gotta Be Me
John Lewis, Get in the Way
Maya Angelou: And Still I Rise (also on Netflix)

Amazon Prime: 
August Wilson: The Ground On Which I Stand
I Am Not Your Negro
Crown Heights
Marshall
The Last Man in San Francisco 
Fences
4 Little Girls